Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
