Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
