Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
