his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
