her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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