i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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