Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
