All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
