Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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