These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
