census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
