I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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