Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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