Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
