her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
