You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
two words...techno handjob
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
