tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
