i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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