I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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