Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
