i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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