What a fucking waste of an outfit
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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