so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
