I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
