You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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