So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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