hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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