hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
