did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
