I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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