You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
