I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
