He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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