i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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