Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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