you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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