You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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