I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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