Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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