Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
