I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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