my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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