Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
