Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
