It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
