i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
