I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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