I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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