the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
try to milk me bitch
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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