now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
