I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
