Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
