question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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