just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
50% drunk capacity currently
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
