Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
